Frontier Reviews: 2005-2008
Matthew John Conley, beloved former local poet, and all-but-carnal friend of the Guide (he moved before we would’ve made our move) contributed this lovely little number for Guides #1-3:
You may hate fascist business owners, you may find large John Wayne memorabilia disagreeable, but all roads in the 505 lead to the Frontier, so some things you should know:
Your food is going to be hot. Deal with it. Welcome to the Land of Chiles. It’s good for you. When you are next in line, look for the flashing green lights, or someone behind you will take your place.
The Guide suggests the Breakfast Burrito & a carne adovada (shredded pork soaked & simmered in red chile) burrito, but whatever you choose, be sure to stop by the crockpots full of authentic New Mexican green chile.
No matter what time of day you show up, you will encounter security guards, gang members, and people asking for acid or spare change. It’s best to ignore them, but that’s your call. If you want any sort of privacy in this beautiful madness, the back rooms offer more security guards and other people hiding out.
Finally, there is the Frontier Roll, a cinnamon pastry drowned in a sea of artificial butter. 99% of the population loves these things. I detest them.