How to Write a Review

RETAIL, FOOD & BARS

1. Envi­ron­ment
How’s the ambiance? Lots of light? Under­ground? Chic or slap­dash? What’s on the stereo? On the walls?

2. Staff
Are they friendly? Mean? Should they be friend­lier or are they disin­gen­u­ously friendly? Is a par­tic­u­lar guy or gal worth seek­ing or avoid­ing? Do they know their shit? Do they remem­ber your name? Treat you like family?

3. Prices & Prod­uct
Rea­son­able? Painful, but worth it? Some things priced accu­rately and oth­ers not? Any­thing to avoid? Do you go in for one thing only?

4. Food (where applic­a­ble)
Over­all qual­ity? Red or green? If you’ve tried sim­i­lar restau­rants, what makes this one unique? Do they serve a sig­na­ture dish? Any­thing you spat out? Why was it gross? Be spe­cific. It’s fun­nier that way.

5. Drinks (where applic­a­ble)
How’re the Happy Hour hours and prices? Food avail­able? Can the bar­back mix a drink? Who’s got the heav­i­est pour? Does she have a sig­na­ture drink? Any­thing you spat out? Why was it gross? Be spe­cific, it’s fun­nier that way.

6. Cus­tomers
Pre­ten­tious? Down-to-earth? Young, older? Eth­nic mix? (If a bar) what’s the like­li­hood some­one will start a con­ver­sa­tion with you?

7. The Extra Mile
Any­one gone way out of their way to help? Do the own­ers wait on cus­tomers?  The owner’s son have great hunt­ing sto­ries, which run an hour each? Does the build­ing have some juicy his­tory? Iden­tify this place to us.

OTHER

1. Why send some­one here?
Ex.: after a day’s hike, hang­ing at San­dia Peak is two shades from par­adise; at the McDonald’s across from the NHCC, dig the Saint Fran­cis With Egg McMuf­fin left of the counter.

2. News­pa­pers
Are they infor­ma­tive? Are they slanted? What do they report on? How often do you read them? Do you fol­low someone’s col­umn? Why?

3. Hotels
Where have you, friends or fam­ily stayed? Have you par­tied in one or two? Were the rooms fur­nished nice? Did the sham­poo turn your hair green? How were the beds?

4. Muse­ums & Gal­leries
What kinds of art goes up? Do they show local artists?

HOUSEKEEPING

  • You must have had three distinct customer experiences at the business you are reviewing. You collaborate with others, but collectively, you must have had three distinct experiences there. We welcome new reviews, amendments and corrections.
  • No chains based out of NM. Home-grown chains preferred to be small-scale, with a non-corporate feel.
  • Shoot for 200 words or less. Treat these questions as prompts, but try to hit as many points as you can. Don’t worry about going over or being funny; we’ll help with that.
  • Submission does not guarantee publication.
  • We enforce editorial standards, and aim to maintain both your voice and the content of your review.